1.Amplifier
The dirty sunlight shines
Through broke Venetian blinds
Cardboard and carpet stains
These houses look the same
I am avoiding what I know I should confront
I disappear into your warmth
They called us both upstairs
We answered unaware
On the couch paralyzed
Tears filled up both their eyes
It's not about you
And you know it's not your fault
We have to do this for ourselves
I know you are only ten
But when you're older you'll know
We do the best that we can
These are the cards we were dealt
Remember that you are loved
You have a family still
It's all a part of god's plan
He will forgive us I know
I wanna crawl inside
Get tangled in the wires
I need new place to go
Instead of real life
I'm so removed from this
I don't even exist
The more the tubes will glow
The further I can go
And away we go
The only thing that's certain now
Is the uncertainty somehow
You have to live with this
You have no say in this
From this point on I just don't care
I will concede to the unfair
I will not bat an eye when you abandon me
I own this moment now
This saturated sound
I cannot compromise
I know only overdrive
2.The Still And The Lost
I have planned it out
And I have everything in order
Got no friends or family
But all my bills are paid
I have given names
To the things in my apartment
It helps to ease the loneliness
And I've been so alone
I have a lamp that I call Illumination
She sheds light on everything
All lies and mistakes I've made
Small is the globe and I call him Destination
He's there to remind me of
Places I will never go
Awake at nine AM
I'm gonna take care of the problem
Light myself a cigarette
And then a couple more
Unlike my whole life
I'm gonna get this right the first time
One thing I have always been
Is good at giving up
I'm looking out of a thirteenth story window
I can feel the gravity
Pull me close to tragedy
I hear the sound of the sidewalk people laughing
Might as well have leant a hand
Bet they won't be laughing when I land
There is a statue made of stone beside me
Covered in excrement and crumbling slightly
Cold and alone he suffers from exposure
He is as still as I am lost
3.Love Suicidal
You are just another girl and so am I
How we love each other is by our design
They may never ever understand
We may never ever understand
I cannot deny myself forevermore
And I won't apologize for being born
We have only one life to give love
I could die without a chance to love
I have to tell you my heart
I wrote it all down in my journal and left it open
For you to find on my desk
Right next to the photo of us hand in hand after church
Don't you know this world is such a lonely place
So devoid of love that god could not replace
It is all just made up in their minds
And their love is no more real than mine
When you read on you will find
The last words that I'll ever write are meant only for you
I saved up all of my meds
Enough so I won't fail again
I'm not scared anymore
I have nowhere left to turn
My god and my church have both failed me like they failed before
I knelt down beside my bed
And prayed that this torture would end
I'm not scared anymore
4.Delusional
Hold my hand and don't look down
Get your feet back off the ground and just
Take a look around you kid
Like everyone already did
You're delusional
Cheap guitars and microphone stands
I built this place with my own hands
And I recommend you do the same
Rid your head those dreams of fame
You're delusional
You will never know fame
You're not gonna get signed
This charade is just one huge waste of time
Go down to the record store
Buy a copy of Nebraska and
Rip that shit off best you can
Congratulations now you're just like them
Delusional
You will never know fame
You're not gonna get signed
This charade is just one huge waste of time
You are your biggest fan
Legend in your own mind
You and everyone else who waits in line
I'm just like you in some ways
Truth hurts more than lies these days
But I still believe that someone cares
And I've been treated so unfairly oh
5.I'm Not Going Back
The dirty sunlight shines
Through broke Venetian blinds
Cardboard and carpet stains
These houses look the same
I am avoiding what I know I should confront
I disappear into your warmth
They called us both upstairs
We answered unaware
On the couch paralyzed
Tears filled up both their eyes
It's not about you
And you know it's not your fault
We have to do this for ourselves
I know you are only ten
But when you're older you'll know
We do the best that we can
These are the cards we were dealt
Remember that you are loved
You have a family still
It's all a part of god's plan
He will forgive us I know
I wanna crawl inside
Get tangled in the wires
I need new place to go
Instead of real life
I'm so removed from this
I don't even exist
The more the tubes will glow
The further I can go
And away we go
The only thing that's certain now
Is the uncertainty somehow
You have to live with this
You have no say in this
From this point on I just don't care
I will concede to the unfair
I will not bat an eye when you abandon me
I own this moment now
This saturated sound
I cannot compromise
I know only overdrive
6.The Well
I have walked and I have wandered
I have tripped and I have fell
In the ditches and the gutters
I have drowned inside the well
I should take what you have given
Lock it up and keep it safe
Never waste another moment
Never throw your words away
I'm not waiting any longer
For the meaning or the moment
To reveal what is perfect
I will find my way out of the well
I am lost, I am defeated
I am everything I hate
Buried deep under the ground now
My words echo in the cave
Open up and let the doubt in
Hold my breath and suffocate
There is no one who can touch me
I am lord of this domain
They say that drowning is slow
And peaceful when you finally go
You live your whole life in that moment
Then you're gone
I won't hesitate to wonder
What will happen if I fail
I can promise me a beating
I will beat myself into the ground
7.Broken Instrument
Good morning Mr. Heart
Thank you for meeting with me
I hope I'm not wasting your time
You look like hell today
Grey hair and polyester
I wonder if you're flammable
Cause you're gonna regret that you didn't respect me
The god you believe in will still guarantee that you burn
I did now it's your turn
Mr. Heart you have failed
My mother and my father
They trusted you with everything
Do you have any more
Guilt or humiliation
I don't believe I've had my fill
My Ogden has taken me out in the hall
In an effort to make an example for all
I admit it did hurt just a bit
When the instrument broke on the back of my legs
I was proud and the anger was more than the pain that I felt
I hope you are in hell
You are the source of my worst frustrations
I will enjoy this retaliation
I will inform them of your transgressions
They will eject you
Know the error of your ways
Those halls are empty now
Cracked tiles and rusted lockers
That world had long been abandoned
8.Peninsula
I have waited patiently for it to turn around
I have practiced my invention
I have only good intentions
Having fallen off the wagon just to crawl back on
I was following for miles
I was following for miles
Over hills across plains
Been in cars and in trains
I have spoke without lies
I have dust in my eyes
There were words unsaid for hours
Sometimes days on end
When we finally found the courage
It was instantly regretted
On the edge of a peninsula we're falling off
This is only the beginning
Of the longest ever ending
In the air and over waves
Been in boats and in planes
I won't follow you home
You won't follow me home
9.Falling Apart
I fell asleep at the wheel again
I had a dream that I woke up in jail
I can't believe how much I'm falling apart
And you make it look so easy
I lost my mind and I ruined the show
I threw away all the songs that I wrote
I think the past is catching up with me
I won't get off so easy
I could medicate the clouds away
And if only for a moment heal the pain
Temporarily turn off the lights
Turn the volume down so I can sleep tonight
I'm spending far too much time with regret
I did some things that I'll never forget
I hope somehow they have forgiven me
Cause I can't ignore the feeling
I could medicate the clouds away
And if only for a moment heal the pain
Temporarily turn off the lights
Turn the volume down so I can sleep tonight
10.No One Cares So Why Should I
I took myself for a ride
Thirteen years I held on tightly
Never getting off the train
I kept singing the same old song
Not for me but everyone else
Bleeding from a dried up vein
Everybody felt the same
My blood thinned out in time
Lost strength and gave up the fight
Now I'm heeding your advice
No one cares so why should I
You won't believe what I just read
Throw conviction out the window
I'm looking out for number one
I can't pretend that I feel guilty
And my friends intend to just enable me
I've fallen down into a rut
Nobody to help me up
What if I don't have the right
Second thoughts and I can't decide
Now I'm heeding your advice
No one cares so why should I
I have deprived myself of this for far too long
I have become what I was all along
11.This Shell
I live inside this shell, this shell, this shell
A decomposing corpse is where I dwell
Inside the fire burns with no regrets
But to the outside world it's smoldering at best
I'm stuck inside this shell, this shell, this shell
I tried to climb up top and down I fell
The lights are dim now the well is dry
Upstairs the cracks are showing I cannot deny
I am old
I am old
I am older than dirt
I am old
Slow the decaying down with alcohol
Pickle my brain so I can't feel at all
My blood still boiling within my veins
Why does being human feel so inhumane
I am old
I am old
I am older than dirt
I am old
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